


Agitation and Tenderness

by MikkiNigatsu9



Category: Free!
Genre: Best Friends, Love Confessions, M/M, MakoHaru OTP, Makoto has a huge D, Makoto thinks Haru loves Rin, More Cliches, Post-Free! Eternal Summer, Post-Graduation, Rei gets romantic, Rinharu brotp, Rival admiration, before college, fandom cliches, makoharu - Freeform, reigisa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 01:16:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7869844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikkiNigatsu9/pseuds/MikkiNigatsu9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After graduation, Haru and Makoto are preparing to attend separate colleges in Tokyo. Makoto has been in love with his best friend since junior high, but he knows Haru doesn't return his feelings. Facing the transition to adulthood, and believing Haru is in love with Rin, Makoto decides to let Haru go, both for his own sake and for Haru's happiness. What Makoto doesn't know is that he won't have to.</p>
<p>Another re-imagining of MakoHaru's love confession and the beginning of their intimate relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Agitation and Tenderness

**Author's Note:**

> (Wow, this fic ended up being way longer than I wanted it to be!)
> 
> This is my second MakoHaru love confession story. My first one "Passion Over Mist'' takes place during their college days. I always thought it would be easier for MakoHaru to start their intimate relationship during college and so I refrained from writing about them in high school or junior high. 
> 
> The MakoHaru I envision is a fun and relaxed type of relationship, one with minimal conflict. Having MakoHaru get together during high school, when they're still maturing and dealing with teenage problems seemed too complicated. Having them support each other as friends during their adolescence was enough for me. I've read plenty of authors who've written MakoHaru's teenage relationship well, I just could never make it work in my own writing....until now! And I'm kind of happy about it (though I've tired myself out editing this story). It's post-graduation but pre-college, so they're still dealing with a transitional phase.
> 
> Prepare for a good amount of RinHaru BROTP. I can't ignore Rin and the fact that Haru feels strongly about him. So this is my way of dealing with it...
> 
> There's also some Reigisa in here. It's my first time writing Reigisa so please be gentle. :)
> 
> Enjoy the story.

     Makoto glanced at Haru again as they walked side by side. The acute, diminishing glare of the late afternoon sunlight cast a gold sheen onto Haru's dark locks, accenting the pristine ocean blue preserved in his eyes. It was a view that never failed to enchant Makoto. They were returning from an unexpected grocery trip. Makoto's mother had sent him to buy some last minute ingredients for dinner, and on his way to the store, Makoto spotted Haru standing idly on the sidewalk near the beach, looking out at the scene they were now passing by.

It was a whole week since they had graduated from Iwatobi High, and time wasn’t letting them settle down. By the end of the month, they would be in Tokyo, living in separate apartments, attending different universities. And while the change ahead gave Makoto fears of missing his best friend, of feeling helpless without him, Haru seemed calm and steady with fervor.

Haru made a sudden stop and turned to face the beach like before. His eyes narrowed, glimmering like the body of water in sight. Makoto couldn't help but stare at his friend, at those eyes set firmly ahead, eyes that despite emitting strong resolve also seemed tender.

And it was all thanks to Rin taking Haru to Australia, Makoto reminded himself.

He knew all about how Haru found his dream in Australia, how Haru experienced a broader world and got a taste of the liberation he'd longed for. Makoto had been the mind behind it, asking Rin to talk to Haru after his own efforts proved unhelpful. While Makoto lamented the sudden dissonance that grew between he and Haru after Australia, he couldn't be too upset over it. There was an emphatic brightness breaking the surface of Haru's usual taciturn ways. Haru was changing without him, but it was for the better. Haru was freer than ever because he had discovered his dream. A dream he could've only discovered with Rin by his side…

The thought churned an ugly, heavy feeling in Makoto's chest that tightened his throat and his stomach. The loops of the plastic bag Makoto was carrying crinkled in his strained fist. He wanted to believe he was over it. He _needed_ to be over it! But he was agitated more than ever.

"Haru," Makoto said dimly.

Haru turned on call with a frozen wide-eyed expression as if he'd been caught doing something. As much as Makoto wanted to ask Haru what was wrong, he knew he had no place beside Haru right now, not with such negativity weighing him down.

“I’m going ahead. So, I guess I’ll see you later.” Makoto offered the safest smile he could muster.

“Makoto.”

Haru's low utterance of his name stopped Makoto before he could turn away. Those blue eyes that were so steady just seconds ago now wavered in Makoto's direction. Shifting his sight back to the beach, Haru loosely curled a fist as though steeling himself for something. "How often do feelings of friendship blossom into love? Any idea?"

Makoto's breath stilled at the question. There was no way he, or most people, knew the answer to that and judging from Haru's averted gaze, Haru wasn't expecting a direct response. Knowing Haru, the question was a lead into something he was too shy to address upfront. Makoto noticed the pink tint spreading from Haru's ears to his cheeks, the retained far-off look in his eyes. It was like Haru's feelings were on the other side of the sea.

Makoto’s heart rose to an upsetting beat. _Dreams in another country. Friendship blossoming into love._ Haru was talking about Rin. It couldn't have been anyone else. As Haru's best friend, Makoto couldn't deny the fact or avoid it. Though it pained Makoto, though he wished he'd been the one to help Haru realize his dream instead, he had to accept reality. If he could stow away the tension inside himself, if he could spite his own feelings for just a moment and offer Haru his support, maybe he could move past this.

"I suppose it depends on the person," Makoto responded. "But I think it happens more often than people want to admit." He managed to keep his eyes in Haru's direction, even when Haru finally looked at him again. "Friendship can be the foundation for romance. So it probably happens naturally for some."

For Makoto, that had been the case. His platonic feelings for Haru had blossomed into love during their middle school days. So even if his response sounded like an inexperienced guess, Makoto could attest. Haru could also attest, and there was a strong possibility that Rin could too.

Makoto had witnessed the budding affection between them this past year. The fervid gazes Rin and Haru shared during competitions—when one of them stood on the sidelines—always had an undercurrent of pining and anxiety. Most of it was evident in Rin from the start, but Haru gradually matched that passion. Makoto noticed how Haru's features perked in interest whenever Rin's name was mentioned, even if most times Haru acted like he didn't care. Those two were cool blue over wildfire—the perfect example of opposites attract. But when they weren't facing off in a race or bickering with each other, they were careful. Moving close enough towards each other, yet too timid to touch.

"Haru," Makoto realigned his lips in a smile, praying bitterness wouldn't crack his facade. "There's someone you like, right?"

Haru gasped and his features stiffened. Maybe he hadn't expected Makoto to figure it out. Maybe Haru noticed Makoto restraining himself. Either way, Makoto decided this would be it. This would be the first and last time they would talk about this.

"If you ever feel like telling the other person your feelings, I'm sure they'll appreciate it." Makoto slowly turned his back to Haru. "They might even return your feelings. Just listen to your heart."

“So, I should do as I feel?”

“Yeah. Aren’t you normally that way though?”

Makoto kept his sight ahead, suddenly unsure of what to do. He thought he could move forward, that they were done speaking. It wasn’t like Haru needed to respond. Makoto imagined Haru running towards Samezuka, the Matsuoka house, anywhere Rin might be. He’d never dreaded and hoped for something so much in his life. He wanted to be put out of his misery. He wanted Haru to be happy.

Seconds, maybe minutes, passed bearing no words, no movement. Then, Haru stepped towards him. He was obviously heading home, Makoto thought. It only made sense after all the walking they had done. Makoto looked to the side and found Haru beside him, eyes lowered and the pink tint on his face now a profound blush. Makoto’s hand was wrapped in an unexpected warmth, prickling his skin before crashing him with nervous heat. This couldn’t be…

Haru was holding his hand?!

Staring at their crossed palms, for a moment Makoto thought they were regressing to their childhood habit of holding hands. But when Haru’s fingers shifted and laced with his, Makoto’s heart drummed wildly, filling the cavity made by the thought of Haru being with Rin, of Haru leaving him.

Suddenly, it struck him. He couldn't breathe.

"ME?" Makoto's voice squeaked from his tightened throat. He must have seemed like a fool.

"Why are you so surprised?" Haru looked up to meet Makoto's eyes. Though shocked, it only showed for an instant before his expression darkened into a glare.

The look jolted Makoto into speaking. "I—! I thought!" His entire frame went cold as he perspired at an uncomfortable rate. He was sick. Hallucinating. "I really…there was no way…"

Haru loosened his hold on Makoto’s hand but kept their fingers intertwined. “Spill it,” he demanded.

If Makoto read Haru correctly, and Haru indeed liked him, then revealing the truth behind his misunderstanding would severely aggravate the situation, but lying to Haru would cause more problems. Makoto tightened his lips and swallowed. He had no saving grace. “I thought…I thought you liked Rin.”

Haru’s skin went a shade paler. He clenched his teeth and shot his eyes to the ground. “How could you get it so wrong?”

"You're wrong too!" Makoto snapped in much disgust to himself.

A pang of regret dashed through him. It sounded like he was blaming Haru, and he shouldn't have been, even if they were both somewhat at fault. This whole thing was confusing, and extreme emotions weren't going to solve anything.

Haru's hand slipped away, letting the sound of the lapping ocean, the seagulls calling in the distance fill their distressed silence.

"I'm sorry, Haru." Makoto searched for something better to say, but after such a royal screw up, there was little he could repair.

“Forget about this for now.” Haru’s voice was so light the breeze could’ve whisked it away. He slowly raised his head and started walking forward, his posture and demeanor decidedly leveled.

Focusing on Haru's moving figure, a rush of urgency overtook Makoto and he hurried to Haru's side. With a bit of force, he snatched Haru's hand and relaced their fingers. They stopped and looked at each other for a moment, no thoughts, no deliberate expressions. There was only touch and sight to move them. Haru's surprise melted into pure ease, a soft smile surfacing his lips. A bright joy lifted Makoto's heart and he smiled back. Neither of them spoke as they continued forward together.

Instantly, every mundane sight and sound felt like a treasure—the spray of the sea traveling with the wind or their footsteps lightly tapping and scraping the pavement. Haru's thumb rubbed the side of Makoto's hand every now and then, almost as if to remind Makoto that this was happening. Makoto found himself wishing he didn't have to hurry home to give his mother the groceries.

Before parting at the stairs leading to their homes, they agreed to meet at Haru's place that evening. It hadn't entirely sunk in that Haru reciprocated Makoto's feelings, but at the very least, Makoto knew they had something to work towards. And for that, he was truly happy.

——

     After dinner and a quick shower, Makoto headed to Haru's place as promised. Despite his hustle, it was already dark enough outside for the automatic glow of the lampposts. Makoto noticed, while opening the door of Haru's house, a familiar cheery laugh coming from inside. He thought of Nagisa, and sure enough, when Makoto reached the doorway of Haru's small living room, Nagisa turned from his seat at the low table, waving to Makoto with a bright smile.

Rei was also there, sitting next to Nagisa with Haru at the other side of the table, glasses of iced tea before them and a bowl of rice crackers in the center. Just as Makoto was about to greet everyone, Nagisa flew towards him and latched onto his arm, pulling him further into the room.

"Mako-chan! We missed you so much! It's only been a week, but it's weird not seeing you guys every day."

Rei, who had shifted around to face them, seconded Nagisa’s sentiment. “We thought we’d stop by to catch up, and see if you two needed help preparing for your move.”

A smile tugged Makoto's lips despite the bittersweet topic. This time last year, the four of them were either training for tournaments that were months away or simply enjoying each other's company. This year, that time would be spent packing and likely reminiscing their high school days. The four of them hadn't seen each other since the celebratory dinner Makoto's parents organized for him and Haru the night of their graduation. So seeing Rei and Nagisa now was more than a welcomed surprise.

“Yeah,” Nagisa continued. “We were gonna stop by your place first, but Haru-chan was—”

“Makoto,” Haru interrupted, standing from his spot. “Would you like barley or green tea?” His voice was sharp with intent, drawing all eyes to him.

“Ah,” Makoto paused, noticing a frown on Haru’s face as he turned his head. He was hiding something, but this definitely wasn’t the time to ask about it. “I’ll have green tea, thank you.”

Without a spared glance, Haru entered the kitchen, leaving the room silent. Makoto sighed thinly. He couldn't help thinking his presence caused the shift in Haru’s mood, especially given their earlier misunderstanding. They could take Rei and Nagisa out of the equation, and the awkwardness between him and Haru might've been worse than it currently was.

Set on breaking the hush, Nagisa nudged Makoto to the other side of the table next to Haru's vacant spot before reclaiming his own seat beside Rei. Once Makoto settled at the table, Nagisa's eyes sparked with determination as he launched into swim club business. "So, I've decided Rei-chan’s going to be captain, and I'll be co-captain."

“Hey! Don’t make those decisions on your own.” Rei blushed in protest.

"Come on, Rei-chan. It's a no-brainer." Nagisa turned to Rei and pouted, clasping his hands as if to say _pretty please_. “It’s not like I could do it. And your intellect and sensitivity are perfect leader-type qualities.”

The air between the two felt different somehow. Rei and Nagisa regularly spent time together outside of school, so Makoto knew they were close. Maybe not seeing them for seven whole days had thrown his perspective off.

“I suppose you’re right,” Rei’s complexion reddened with a tame smirk on his lips. “But besides that,” Rei cleared his throat and pushed up his glasses, attempting to break his fluster. “How are we going to recruit new members?”

Haru emerged from the kitchen and served Makoto his tea, a half-smile forming on his face as he sat beside his friend. "Nagisa's energy is bound to attract others. It attracted Rei after all." Haru showed no signs of insinuation but one would be daft to think Haru was oblivious here.

Rei and Nagisa blushed and glanced at each other before their eyes averted to the table and Nagisa burst into restless chuckles. Now Makoto was sure there was something between them. He was glad he wasn't alone in his assumption, but he felt troubled for the pair after the awkward atmosphere Haru's vague comment had created.

"Well," Makoto chimed in, hoping to refocus the conversation. "Since we did well at nationals, maybe more students will be interested in the club. Make sure to focus on recruiting freshmen too. If you can get them to warm up to you, they may eventually join."

“That’s a great idea!” Nagisa perked up. “We can use Gou-chan as bait. Those Mikoshiba brothers were all over her. She’s bound to capture the hearts of some freshmen boys too.”

Makoto waved his hands in defense. “Um, I didn’t mean it that way!”

“And how would Rin-san feel about us using his sister as bait?” Rei interjected. “She’s already an asset to the club. We shouldn’t demote her to such demeaning tasks.”

“But Gou-chan’s devoted to the club just as much as we are. She might not mind. We need to look at all our options if we want to recruit members fast.”

A low chuckle came from Haru, “You guys will do fine.”

Haru’s mood had brightened notably in just the last few minutes, a relief to Makoto. Even with their earlier misunderstanding, he and Haru were able to carry on normally as friends, which may or may not have been thanks to Rei and Nagisa’s presence.

The four of them chatted a while longer before the night emerged in full. With it being late, Rei and Nagisa took leave and made plans with Makoto and Haru to meet up later in the week.

Makoto followed Haru back into the living room after seeing the duo off at the door, and instantly the reality of their uncertain relationship sobered any calm or delight Makoto had felt moments ago. He and Haru were still best friends, of course, but even the smallest shift in feeling could spell major changes to their dynamic. As much as he wanted them to become a couple, he couldn’t risk fooling himself into thinking it would happen.

Haru knelt at the table and gathered the empty glasses. Makoto was ready to help bring them to the kitchen, but Haru simply moved them to the far side of the table, keeping his head lowered. This wasn't like Haru. Haru, since he'd started living alone, was proactive in house cleaning because he hated dealing with the mess later. Even with the weight of their discussion looming, it wouldn't have been odd for Haru to go about business as usual just to take the edge off.

Makoto settled beside Haru, facing the closed shoji screen that led to the front yard. Haru kept his eyes on his lap, letting the silence resume. Makoto thought of taking the initiative, but he didn't know where to begin. They already confirmed they liked each other, and there were countless ways they could continue the conversation, all of which involved Makoto reliving his disgraceful misconception of Haru's feelings for Rin.

“I thought about it,” Haru finally spoke, turning slightly towards Makoto, eyebrows knitted in concern. “But I don’t understand why you thought I liked Rin.”

Makoto winced, meeting Haru's gaze. Naturally, they were wondering the same thing. Thinking back, Makoto was so shocked over Haru liking him that he hadn't considered how Haru must have felt discovering Makoto thought he liked Rin. Haru's current expression said it all. The whole thing was equally, if not more, mortifying and confusing for Haru.

"I just noticed how you naturally look Rin's way, even when we were kids…" Makoto faded out, realizing how pitiful he sounded. He truly felt bad about his jealousy towards Rin whom he considered a good friend. Makoto had planned to hide that jealousy forever. He never wanted Haru to know this unappealing side of himself.

Haru's features softened as he lowered his eyes again, clenching a loose fist over his lap. "Rin, probably more than anyone, helped me realize my passion for swimming. Even when I wanted to ignore it, he's always been pushing me to my limit. I'm grateful to him for that."

Makoto knew all this, and hearing it from Haru's mouth sent splinters through his heart. The bittersweet smile continued pulling at his lips as if to stop his jaw from trembling. The whole idea of Haru having romantic feelings for Rin only arose after Makoto realized his own love for Haru. Had Makoto's feelings stayed platonic, he probably would’ve interpreted Haru's interest towards Rin as mere friendly affection, rival admiration.

“Whether it’s the relay or Australia, he’s always making me reevaluate myself. So, I end up thinking about him a lot.” Haru scooted closer, laying his hand over Makoto’s on the floor.

Makoto’s fingers twitched up at the unexpected touch and soon relaxed under the warmth. “Haru…”

“You’re always by my side and you understand me better than anyone.” Haru’s voice was uneven, dipping into near whispers every few words before stabilizing. “So I feel like I don’t have to try with you. I guess, I thought I wouldn’t have to risk telling you upfront, that somehow you’d pick up on my feelings. But I wasn’t even sure about my feelings until recently, so it wasn’t fair to expect you to know.” Haru looked up again.

Those rich, steady blue eyes from this afternoon returned in a glorious way, and Makoto was on the receiving end of them. A few hours ago, he was sure those eyes weren't meant for him, and now he was awestruck at being proved wrong.

“I’m sorry, Makoto.”

The apology rang a terrible note in Makoto's ears. Shaking his head, Makoto turned his palm over and squeezed Haru’s hand. "It's my fault too, Haru. I didn't know how to tell you my feelings either." Without realizing, they had reversed their usual roles with Haru being more outspoken and Makoto having little to say but everything in mind. With distance as a factor once they started college, who knew how their relationship would go. "It's a little scary though. Once we're in Tokyo, we won't always be together."

“I don’t think it’ll be scary. Not as long as we listen to our hearts.” Haru’s cheekbones rose despite the neutral line of his lips.

That phrase, especially when delivered with Haru’s straightforward tone, had Makoto bursting into a chuckle. Makoto had been sincere when he said  _listen to your heart,_ not recognizing it as a cliche from some TV drama, shoujo manga, or any variety of entertainment. “Would that really be enough?”

“Sure it would,” Haru murmured and leaned into Makoto’s chest, pressing an ear over the heart as he rested his other hand on the floor at Makoto’s side.

Makoto gulped, his heart jumping at the contact. “Y-You’re taking it literally?” He caught a whiff of coconut from Haru’s shampooed hair and the overall fresh scent of Haru’s body.

Makoto laid his free hand over Haru's chest, feeling a pounding rhythm that matched his own. Haru raised himself and passed him a tender gaze, one that, like any other from Haru, had Makoto entranced. Just their proximity had Makoto thinking of all those times he'd wanted to touch Haru, and how finally he could.

Their faces inched closer, giving Makoto an intimate view of Haru's long eyelashes and those relaxed eyelids. It was like they were kids again, sharing a bed, and Makoto had woken in the middle of the night to a sleeping Haru beside him. Before Makoto could register the situation, their lips pressed in a melting, closed-mouth kiss. For a glimpse of time, all sense of self lifted and there was only them as a unit.

The pull away came too soon and their lips met again at a better angle, tongues skimming as their mouths relaxed against each other. A thrilling energy spread through Makoto's body, the majority of it zooming to the one place he hoped it wouldn't. He felt his pants grow tighter but ignored it. He wasn't going to betray the gradual build up of their kisses. Makoto had never willed away a hard on, but he was hoping the impossible would happen today.

Makoto captured Haru in a tight embrace, hoping to draw attention to the delight of their upper bodies, the feel of their chests against each other, their hands wandering each other’s frames, the deepening kiss. But Makoto wasn’t so lucky. Taking the embrace as an invitation, Haru shifted onto Makoto’s lap, making Makoto wince when Haru’s languid lower region brushed against his erection.

“You’re hard,” Haru said against Makoto’s lips. To Makoto’s dismay, Haru eased off his lap and reached down to cup his groin.

"Haru!" Makoto closed his eyes and backed away on impulse. He stopped when the back of his bare thighs met the tatami floor. Looking down, Makoto found the waist of his sweatpants pulled to his knees and Haru's fingers hooked at each side. All that covered Makoto were his briefs which did little to clothe his erection.

Makoto could only watch as Haru’s slender index pushed aside the slit of his briefs, exposing his erection to the air. He was suddenly aware of the chill from the small electric fan on the floor at the other side of the table. Haru’s fingers tapped the base of Makoto’s cock before trailing up to the crown with a touch so delicate it resembled the tickle of a soft, unused paint brush. A toxic mix of excitement and bashfulness fumed Makoto.

"Haru, stop." He grabbed Haru's roaming hand, only for Haru to bring his other hand to Makoto's privates, sliding his index around the sensitive reddened tip. Focusing on it, Haru grew flushed with a sensual intent that could've easily turned deviant with the turn of a smirk.

The shame of Makoto's middle school days came flooding back. He hated how endowed he was, how difficult it had been to hide the random erections his changing body spurred on him during class, and how weird it felt to stand with a boner pressed against his belly. If only he were "normal" sized, it wouldn't be as troublesome, and he could’ve easily slipped into the bathroom or some isolated corner of the school to sit alone and hope it went away without drawing attention to the sweater knotted around his waist or the opened book held at his groin. Makoto felt so thankful that he and Haru were in different classes during those awkward years before he knew what masturbation was. Because even though they had seen each other naked countless times growing up, at least Haru never saw him like _that_.

Haru’s hand wrapped gently around the length, sliding up and down without pressure as though Haru were testing the motion.

Makoto's groin tightened further, thumping just a tad faster than his heart. He breathed slowly through his teeth, exhaling with a shudder. Any ounce of coolness he had in him was overshadowed by a stubborn shyness. He covered his burning face with both hands, pulling his shoulders forward like he was cowering from a ghost in the dark. "Haru, please don't!"

"Is this why you always wore a towel around your waist when you changed during swim club?"  Haru's low, soft tone gave the question a ring of comfort. 

Makoto had never told Haru about this insecurity, and it wasn't like he'd given off any signs of it before. While Haru usually slipped on his pants over his damp swimsuit, Rei and Nagisa also wore towels over their waists when changing. Makoto, however, would secure his towel every few seconds to make sure it didn't fall off. Haru had probably noticed long ago but decided to leave the matter alone.

Makoto peeked between his fingers and saw a curious Haru staring at him. Groaning in defeat, Makoto dropped his hands. “Yes.”

Haru’s eyes traveled back down. “There’s nothing wrong with having a huge cock. It’s cute.”

“I’m not sure _cute_ is the appropriate word!” Makoto would call it a monster before anything else.

"Never mind that." Haru brazenly slid Makoto's pants clear off his legs, holding eye contact as he tossed the clothing under the table like it was his own.

Haru's hand graced Makoto's cock again, this time putting his motions to work. Pressing his hot, damp palm against the shaft, Haru's fingers cupped Makoto's scrotum, rubbing the firm area as his palm slid up and down the length. Makoto's lower body clenched at the mild swirl of pleasure. He could've told Haru that he liked simple, hard and fast pumps along his length, that touching him any lower wasn't necessary, but he would never dictate Haru's artful hands. Makoto could do the usual anytime. Right now he wanted to be undone by Haru.

Just when Makoto thought things would continue as such, Haru lowered his head, mouth opening as he closed in on Makoto’s cock. His whole being went into alarm, short of running away. Makoto thought of arguing that he was dirty, but he had taken a shower before coming over, so he knew Haru wouldn’t buy that excuse.

"You don't have to do this," Makoto argued weakly. Haru's lips were already on him, drawing the crown—pre-cum and all—into his mouth. The velvety, wet insides of Haru's mouth enveloped Makoto halfway, introducing him to the relief he needed. Makoto wished he could forget their situation, but even pleasure couldn't dissolve the unease he felt. They were crossing the line too fast and Makoto was so afraid that he wouldn't be able to control himself. He pushed Haru back by the shoulders before that lovely mouth completely sank him. "We should slow down."

Straightening up, Haru wiped the side of his mouth with the back of his hand. "Slow down how? By getting to know each other?" There was a hint of criticism in Haru's tone. From his flushed and slightly dazed face, he obviously wanted to continue.

Makoto groaned quietly at the reaction, wondering if he'd made a mistake, if he was being too self-conscious for this whole deal. Haru made a good point. They had been best friends practically since birth. They knew each other better than anyone and there was hardly anything they hadn't done together outside of intimacy. If they both wanted to, starting an intimate relationship would be easy. Yet Makoto was unable to warm-up to the idea. He feared if they went that route, they would fall victim to the friends with benefits routine, something neither of them wanted.

“I’m not sure.”

"Neither am I." Haru's sight lingered in Makoto’s direction. "I just know that I want to do this with you. But if you're uncomfortable, we can stop." His jaw clenched, reining in disappointment.

Makoto was out of excuses. Haru was the person Makoto loved and treasured the most. Beside him was the only place Makoto could let himself go, no second guesses, no retreats. It had always been that way. Why should it be different now? For God's sake, they were both high school graduates now, horny ones at that. Playing decent would only frustrate them in the long run, and Makoto couldn't let the flame in his loins go untouched any longer.

Makoto pulled Haru in by the side of his arms. "I want to do this too," he said huskily, pressing kisses on Haru's temple, then on his cheekbones, and the nape of his neck. Haru's skin was smooth and tasted vaguely of salt. He learned most people's skin tasted that way, but Haru's was inherently special. An attractive mix of saltwater and sweat over flesh that couldn't mediate between tension and relaxation under Makoto's lips.

Haru let out a small moan as Makoto's warm lips lingered behind his ear. "Makoto…" He pulled back and motioned for them to move to the only vacant side of the wall next to the doorway.

Resting his back to the support of the wall, Makoto savored the view of Haru's head of silky black hair lowering between his raised thighs. Haru's hot lips graced Makoto's crown with a kiss, moistening the front with his tongue. The simple move rocked Makoto with shivers, fueling his excitement. Haru took Makoto into his mouth steadily, reintroducing him to the slick wonder of his mouth while he held the lower half of Makoto's shaft securely in his fist. Makoto's pulse raced to his groin, banging against his flesh as though it would leap from his body at any second.

Amid his panting, Makoto released a tangled mess of hums and sighs, threading his digits through Haru's hair and curling his toes as he succumbed to his friend’s boldness. Eyes closed and head stretched back in ecstasy, Makoto noticed the low moans coming from Haru with each breath, each bob over his erection. At one point, Haru paused to suckle on the cock and widened his mouth, giving his tongue leeway to massage the underside.

“Ha…Haru….” Makoto panted. He looked down just in time to see Haru pull away from his cock, lips slightly swollen.

A sense of pride seeped into Makoto. Though sucking him must have been somewhat of a chore, Haru's lusty, glistening eyes showed he enjoyed it. Saliva streamed down Makoto's length and Haru dipped in again, this time gliding his tongue on the underside, starting at the base and patiently working up before he slipped Makoto into his mouth again. There was a vague hint of teeth when Haru slid to the crown again, signaling a mild danger that propelled Makoto off course.

With only a few more strokes, Makoto spasmed unexpectedly, clutching Haru's hair as his hips pushed up and he poured into Haru's mouth. Fortunately, Haru's gag reflex wasn't triggered and he tightened his mouth around Makoto's cock, gulping down the fluid with effort.

Makoto's shoulders sunk as he breathed a relieving moan. A rather winded Haru pulled away, letting his tongue sweep what was left of Makoto's hard on. His lips shaped over the crown, pressing a quick finishing kiss before releasing.

“That was amazing, Haru.” Coming down from his high, Makoto cupped Haru’s face in his hands while the guy straightened up. He examined the glow of Haru’s features in the aftermath, mainly those reddish lips that had just worked magic on him. A glint of shyness crossed Haru’s features and he narrowed his eyes, wiping his wet mouth with the back of his hand.

Makoto smiled at the reaction and leaned in, planting a light kiss on Haru’s lips, thanking him for a job well done. “What about you?” Makoto glanced at Haru’s groin, checking for an arousal. It was hard to tell from the loose shorts Haru wore.

Inclining forward, Haru rested his forehead on Makoto’s broad shoulder. “Don’t worry. It takes a lot to get me hard.”

“Really?” The statement was almost unbelievable, given Haru’s eagerness earlier.

“You came fast. So…”

"Oh…" Makoto lowered his head, a shadow falling over him. He couldn't control how his body reacted, but if it meant getting Haru aroused too, he would be more than willing to learn a technique or two to prolong release, if any existed. "I'll do better next time." He peeked up.

Haru smiled in his special subtle way. “Don’t worry. I liked it.”

Makoto chuckled, "That's reassuring." His fingers combed the side of Haru's hair. He went in for another quick kiss, but Haru angled his head and pushed their lips together, managing to slip his tongue just past Makoto's teeth.

"Wait, Haru!" Makoto detached the kiss, holding Haru by the arms. "Your mouth was just on my—"

“Afraid of your own taste?” Haru said with an unamused tone.

"It's not sanitary!" Makoto stopped short of lecturing Haru when the guy stared him down with half-lidded eyes. He knew the situation was helpless and that denying Haru's advances for the third time might dampen Haru's mood, but if Haru enticed him anymore, Makoto might find himself pinning Haru against the wall or over the table.

A series of dull buzzes sounded from the pocket of Makoto’s discarded pants. Makoto debated answering it, but Haru made the decision easy as he turned and crawled the short distance to the table to take care of the glasses he had set aside earlier. The sound of running water echoed shortly after. Retrieving his pants, Makoto took out his cell phone and found a text from Nagisa.

_Ehhh?!  Rei-chan told me you and Haru-chan are DATING! IS IT TRUE? I thought it was weird that Haru-chan didn’t invite you to join us right away. He was waiting on the steps to your house when we came by, so we thought maybe you two had plans. Sorry if we interrupted! lol  ^^;_

_Anyway, it was fun seeing you guys today!_

“Rei told Nagisa we’re dating?!” Puzzled, Makoto stared at the screen, tightening his grip on the phone.

“Oh?” Haru shrugged as he stood at the sink, cleaning the dishes.

Rei and Nagisa couldn't have known about them, unless Haru blabbed about their situation which wasn't likely. He and Haru had only come out to each other, and to say they were dating was still a stretch. Though Makoto believed they were, or at least would be, especially after Haru had gone down on him.

Makoto stood and slipped back into his pants, pulling them to his waist. Phone still in one hand, Makoto subconsciously rescanned Nagisa’s text when a certain detail popped out. _Haru had waited on the steps to his house._ He could’ve done it for a variety of reasons, but given their case, maybe Haru had been just as eager to see him this evening.

The dumbest smile must have crept onto Makoto’s face at that moment, but he didn’t care. He felt like tackling the world right now. “Haru, the message also says you waited outside my house earlier.”

Haru, who just returned to the room, wrinkled his nose and partially turned his back to Makoto. “I just wanted to pet the cat. He happened to be on your steps.” He glanced over his shoulder to gauge Makoto’s reaction.

Makoto giggled at the obvious but cute lie. "Sure, Haru-chan." Their precious white ball of fluff always took refuge in Haru's front yard at night. The cat rarely showed up at Makoto's house and chances were it hadn't tonight either. Haru barely tried with this one.

“No _-chan_ ,” Haru resettled beside Makoto, keeping his eyes away.

“Can’t I get a free pass now that I’m your _boyfriend_?" Makoto decided to test the waters, and to his delight, Haru wasn't refusing.

Haru glanced at Makoto, then laid on the floor, hands tucked behind his head. “Maybe once a year.”

Leaving less than an inch between them, Makoto joined Haru and rested on his side, propping his head with a hand. “Do accidents count?”

“You’d be having _accidents_ every day if they didn't count." The direct shine of the room light on Haru's face made his ruddy tint more noticeable. He might try to look cool with his eyes closed and body relaxed, but it was useless. Makoto was a master at teasing Haru with that suffix, not that it required much.

Makoto laid a kiss on Haru’s cheek. “Understood, Haru-chan!”

Haru clicked his tongue in frustration and rolled onto his side, turning his back to Makoto. “And to think, I wanted you to spend the night.”

The mere suggestion had Makoto elated. He closed the gap and crossed an arm over Haru's frame, bringing him in for a loose hug from behind. "But you still want me to stay, don't you?" he said playfully.

Makoto thought he'd need to coax Haru into looking his way again, but in line with his earlier assertiveness, Haru turned onto his back and wrapped his arms around Makoto's shoulders. Pulling Makoto closely, Haru grazed Makoto's ear with the edge of his lips. Instead of combating Makoto's question, he breathed against the area. The feathery contact swept Makoto with goosebumps and he embraced Haru tighter, basking in the shape and warmth of their bodies, the simple peace of each other's tempo. Makoto rolled onto his back with Haru in tow and Haru buried his head in the crook of Makoto's neck.

Makoto stared at the white ceiling, captured by how plain and pure it was, one of many subtle reminders of their undetermined future. Even as he and Haru lay there, soaked in each other, there was no telling how they would change because of it.

As a kid, Makoto couldn’t have imagined being in love with his best friend or wanting to become a swim coach. And with Haru’s future career in professional swimming, Haru would meet countless new people who shared his passions and motivations. People in his own world. People like Rin. There was no guarantee that Haru would always choose Makoto.

They must have lain there for minutes when Haru brought his forearms over Makoto's chest and lifted his head. He must have read Makoto's gloomy thoughts because he gave Makoto a look of concern before lowering his eyes and biting his lip.

“Makoto,” Haru clutched Makoto’s shirt and nestled his cheek against Makoto’s chest. “Just so things are clear. I may look forward to racing Rin, or maybe being on the same team with him. He’ll be on my mind a lot, my eyes may be set on him at times, but _you_ are the person I need beside me. And that’s never been a choice.”

"Haru!" Makoto gasped. He was captured by the feel of sunlight growing in his chest, swaddling his strong heartbeat. Any nerves he would've felt were repressed by great happiness. Haru's declaration was the start to something sweet, alluring, and untamed. Something they absolutely needed to discover together.

Without warning, Makoto rolled over, switching their positions. In a blink, he was looking down at a startled Haru still clutching the front of Makoto's shirt in a way that guaranteed stretches and wrinkles. Makoto pressed himself between Haru's unintentionally splayed legs.

“Makoto!” Haru’s eyes were wide, displaying the vivid beauty of his blue orbs even under Makoto’s shadow.

“Sorry, Haru.” Makoto’s cheekbones protruded as he beamed. “I’m just so happy you said that!”  He caressed Haru’s jaw, thumb sweeping against that smooth skin.

Haru’s breath hitched and he turned his cheek into Makoto’s caress. “Um, you’re heavy,” he murmured.

“Oh no!” Makoto snapped out of the moment and lifted slightly on his hands and knees after realizing he’d been imposing much of his weight on Haru’s stomach. “Did I hurt you? Is everything okay?”

“I’m—” Haru tightened his grip on Makoto’s shirt. “I’m hard.”

"WHAT?!" Makoto's voice blared like a siren. He glanced at Haru's shorts and sure enough, there was a bulge, leaving Makoto to wonder how he hadn't felt it. "B-But you said it takes a lot for you to get aroused!"

Haru shot him a sharp side glance and pursed his lips in a pout. "Pipe down and take care of it."

Makoto gulped, crossed between a cold anxiety and hot excitement. A scene from Makoto's many erotic dreams had materialized—Haru beneath him, flustered, helpless, and needy for release. Makoto was certainly in for some trouble, but he knew that all along.

——

    "Nagisa-kun! How could you do that?" Rei stopped in his tracks. His complaint pierced through the humid night air, no doubt audible to nearby households. Ashamed by his own indiscretion, Rei slapped a hand over his mouth as his complexion grew beet red. "There was no need to text them," he mumbled.

They had just made it to Nagisa’s neighborhood located across from the apartment complex where Rei lived. Rei had suspected something when Nagisa stopped at a vending machine, using its lit up display to see the screen of his low battery cellphone. He asked Nagisa if it couldn’t have waited until he got home, but Nagisa insisted on texting Makoto and the touch of concern on Nagisa’s face made Rei concede.

Rei figured it involved Haruka and Makoto’s move or even the swim club. He hadn’t suspected that Nagisa’s criminally active curiosity was at work. Honestly, he should’ve known better. If Rei hadn’t told Nagisa his suspicions about Makoto and Haruka, they could’ve continued their somewhat peaceful walk home.

“I just wanted to explain why we were acting weird earlier,” Nagisa said, visibly unaffected by the problems his text might have caused.

Rei frowned. “I’m not sure if they’re really together.”

“I don’t think you’re wrong though.” Nagisa continued forward and Rei followed. “There was definitely something different between them.”

“Different doesn’t necessarily mean _dating_.” Rei unintentionally stressed the last word.

It had only been three days since he and Nagisa confessed their feelings for each other and decided to call themselves a couple. Since then, Rei found himself hypersensitive to anything remotely resembling dating or romance. He'd felt a different aura between Makoto and Haruka during the visit. Their usual relaxed air was now more aware and acute, like two magnets ready to collide, kept apart only by the presence of others. Rei completely agreed with Nagisa in that regard, but it wasn't right for them to project their suspicion onto their friends.

“Now that I think of it,” Nagisa’s eyes widened before his whole expression sunk, a rarity for his otherwise bubbly features. It was like he’d just made the biggest mistake possible. “We forgot to tell them that _we’re_ dating…”

Rei groaned inwardly. They could do nothing about it now, and he wasn’t letting Nagisa send another text. “Things will be awkward next time we see them.” Not only would they need to explain Nagisa’s message, they would also have to come out as a couple.

“Aren’t things always awkward when you’re around, Rei-chan?” Nagisa giggled, bouncing back to his usual self.

“Hey!”

Before Rei could fly into full protest, Nagisa yanked him down by the shirt and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “Just kidding.” Nagisa winked, leaving Rei staring back dumbfounded.

"You are something else." Rei stroked his curled fingers against Nagisa's cheek as if it were the most natural thing he could've done. All fluster melted away as those harmonized magenta eyes gazed into him with power and passion. Nagisa's features raised into an adorable boyish beam, making Rei forget about his own rigid self. Mostly.

Almost two years ago, Rei couldn't have fathomed joining the swim club, much less falling victim to something so irrational as love. When they met, Rei was surviving on logic and algorithm. And as badly as he wanted to attain beauty for himself, to emulate it, he never truly could. Yet somehow after being pulled in by Nagisa's persistence and carefree nature, Rei started seeing beauty all around him. Before he knew it, Nagisa's unpredictability and those glorious surroundings were one in the same. Rei still had no idea what he was doing, and for the first time in his life, he was okay with that.

Nagisa rested his head against Rei’s chest and the two of them stood, wrapped in their first “public” embrace. Caressing the back of Nagisa’s blond locks, Rei gazed at the vacant night sky. There were only a few stars shining far apart from each other.

As they grew older, gained new experiences, met more people, he imagined more shining stars would appear, and life would be stable with more constants, or maybe not. Rei wondered if Makoto and Haruka were closer to having their paths figured out, though he knew it was unlikely. Nonetheless, that didn't stop Rei from wishing, believing that each star shining tonight would remain so forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> *I noticed a small inconsistency and fixed it. So there's a slight difference from my initial posting.


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